What a conversation~ girl to girl-- this little word can cause quit the hup~la! To say the least! It is like telling someone Else's child "No" and have the crazy lady go off on you that children should not be told no-- but to learn by their own mistakes!
So when do children learn from their own mistakes? Do they learn when they touch the hot stove, when they hit another child and the child hits back, or is it when they end up in the emergency room? It is a cruel world out there! Children are reminded daily about the violence, lack of morals, drugs, racial wars......
Do you ever feel as if you are swimming up stream and the current is raging? I am sure you feel the same as I do! It is the hardest thing we teach our children and the most criticized topic out there!
Let's define RESPECT~ respect is NOT obedience! People confuse obedience as putting the fear into children and demanding respect. The ultimate goal in teaching respect is allowing children to choose to obey out of respect. Respect is an attitude. We give respect to elders, by being polite to others. This kind of respect is given to teachers, policemen.... etc.
The other kind of respect is one in which people earn towards someone who has earned it through something they have done. They earn this respect through a commitment that they accomplished or earned. We give them respect and thank them for their commitment and respect them out of admiration. Military is great example!
As parents, educators, caregivers, neighbors we need to work together and teach children both examples of respect. We want our children to respect others as they would like to be treated, we would like our children to treat other people better than what they expect to be treated. We need to put Christ in the manner of RESPECT. We want children to be honorable to themselves and to others within the community. And unfortunately sometimes it is not the teaching of respect that causes such a hup~la in our community, but the way people are teaching children how to respect and what they feel is acceptable and what is not. It is when we teach our children that their job is to prove that they are right and not accept responsibility for their mistakes. It is when we as adults overstep our boundaries as parents and do allow our children to be responsible for their mistakes. It is NOW that we create a child who demands respect but does not know how to give it. They demand items that they are unsure how to accept. They are children who do not understand how to behave in society-- they are the children that we do not see smiling when we smile at them!
So what can we do?
Teach our children to be honest! Teach our children to obey the rules and when they make mistakes teach them to admit it, apologize, follow through with the punishment and move on!
Be trusting~ show your child confidence. Allow them to make their own decisions. Give them guidance as they need it.
Be fair. Listen to your child before you jump to conclusions. Listen to both sides of the story.
Be consistent. Stick to the rules. And stick to the rules even when you don't totally agree with them.
Be polite.
Be a good listener!
Be dependable.
Be respectful of authority. Don't criticize those who are authority figures or leadership positions. Teach you child to be respectful of the differences of opinions!
"Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6
So the next time you are out and about and you see that unhappy child in the middle of a happy family~ maybe the child just needs a little smile and prayer!
God Bless all the parents who are teaching RESPECT!
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