Shopping Advise

Hello-- what a crazy day! Today, I dared to take my children shopping. Despite the cold weather we wondered out of the house. We had several places we needed to go before we could go home. I hope that one day I can look back on my words of wisdom and keep my thoughts to myself. Did you ever notice all the advise Moms get from other Moms, older (wiser?) people when you take your children out shopping?

I am a Mom who-- yes, bribes her children to be good while out in public-- so as not to cause more attention than needed on a regular basis. Now, I did receive advise from a friend with whom I work with on how she takes out her 5 young children. And now I will pass that advise on to you the reader: I prep my children before we go out.... OK this is where we need to go (and I go the place of most importance first, even if it is the furthest away-- time is most precious to me and getting things done, then I explain what my expectations are when we are out. Charlie is in the shopping cart that I push, Henry walks directly behind me, Teddy pushes the cart with Sam in it. The children are not to ask for anything, touch anything, or knock any displays down. They are to use the smallest form of speaking voices, for I ignore yelling, screaming, or loud outdoor voices unless we are on a mountain trying to hear our echo. All forms of misbehavior will result in punishments to my own regard (this ultimately depends on how mad I get) and I can change the punishment at lib) Now some of you may say- well that does not seem fair! Well it is not-- punishments are not fair and is either is the negative attention-- so as to not face the criminal acts, don't act up! Now, onto the shopping--- if someone, anyone..... who sees us out shopping, eating, walking,,what ever says out loud, loud enough for ME to hear it "Wow, what well behaved children you have....." All the children will get to get treat. This treat could be a trip to the dollar store or a pick from the lines of candy at the register. Again-- this is for me to decide at lib! Now, the children are not allowed to say anything when someone comments on their behavior until we get back into the car. Now, I do like to play around with the children-- because you should see these boys stare someone down in the store, trying to get someone to make the remark. It is quite funny! Some people feel as if they have something wrong with them- -- but every once in a while someone does make the comment-- and I pretend not to hear it-- and that really gets them all going! But this sure has made shopping a lot less stressful!

So shop on good people!

Itchy Situation

January 27, 2008
Have you ever wondered why you can explain to your husband the best possible answers to having an easy day when they are home alone with the children. I always try to provide my husband with advise to help him solve every problem, like every so often check on what is exactly being watched on the Tv. If the room where the children are is quiet-- that is NOT good! If A + B happens follow through with C then D. And always follow through. Now my children have grown to understand that Daddy does things very different than Mommy. And Daddy's patience is much different than that of Daddy's. And Daddy handles stressful situations much different than that of Mommy.
Our 7 year old Henry has dry skin-- every day he absolutly loves to get rubbed down with baby lotion-- I love Johnson & Johnson's Baby Lotion-- I love the smell it leaves on the children and always wonder why adults cannot smell as fresh as child rubbed down in baby lotion! Yes, my husband would argue with me that Henry is old enough to rub his itchy spots down with lotion all by himself. (Brief little background info- I work away from the house on weekend-- and work 12 hour shifts-- so my husband is KING in his domain for the weekend -- at least I let him think so-- but anyone reading this knows it is better to let them think it- than act on it). After asking Daddy to rub all his itchy spots-- and being told that he was old enough to lotion himself-- Henry gave up hope for the day of getting rubbed down.
Later , this same night- my husband took the children to Church. We belong to a large Christian Church. And on the last Sat of each month we pass out pagers to all the parents of infants and toddlers who would like to have thier children placed in care during worship service. It isalways best to get to Church when passing out pagers at least 15 minutes early to put ones own children in care-- all 4 children. Or you are forsed to have them all behind the counter helping you in every way possible that is not helpful at all. (This would be another example of advice given to deaf ears)! So as Henry did not get the attention that he wished for all day with the rub down, he proceeded to really scratch his belly when anyone looked at him and acknowledged him in Church as the people picked up their pagers. Until, yes someone asked Henry "WOW, Henry you must have a really itchy belly!" And to everyone's surprise; Henry replied, "Yes, I have been asking for Daddy to put lotion on my itchy spots, but now I am going to really need Vagisil Wipes to help with the itching before the odor starts!"
To say the least, to everyone's surprise the look on my husband's face. Now, I must say-- when one does not watch closely to what the little ears may hear on TV, one never knows when thinkgs will be repeated. I am totally,not against TV-- but other than PBS it is hard to trust what commercials they will place on children's cartoon stations. And, to be a fly on the wall, just try to imagine my 'shock look on his face-- is totally priceless-- especially, as he tried to keep cool and collective at Church with the children. Nothing, gives me more pleasure to catch my husband off guard! So to all the husbands out there may your embarrassments happen in Church where you know that all the people are running around the corner and praying for you and your children that they may make it to the next week of Church! God Bless and Amen!